Last night on The Hills, the crew marked 100 episodes of the MTV show with a trip to Costa Rica, which offered both incredible scenery and crazy hookups.
It was a nice departure from the clubs and lunches we see in L.A., but make no mistake, this was still The Hills, for better or worse, just in a jungle setting.
Here’s THG’s plus-minus recap of events …
Immediately after landing, Kristin Cavallari speculates on who’s going to hook up on the trip. Plus 18, because that’s all they do, and the reason for going.
Kristin tells Stacie that Justin-Bobby is “the one” for Audrina Patridge, but Brody isn’t “the one” for her. Are you effin’ serious, cue card writers? Minus 7.
When Kristin kissed bartender Will, it irritated Brody Jenner, but didn’t get a real rise out of him. Plus 4, as he reacted more like someone kissed his sister.
We used to sort of root for Kristin and Brody Jenner to get back together, but after all this waffling, we’re pretty much over it… not unlike Brody. Minus 3.
Wait, were McKaela Line and Allie Lutz get invited? Sucks for them! Plus 7.
Charlie tells Justin-Bobby that he needs to make a move on Audrina. Not coerced by the producers at all. Even, because he does make a move, of sorts …
You gotta love Justin-Bobby just walking by and randomly grabbing Audrina’s ass like the low-class waste of space that he is. Consistent, at least. Plus 7.
Kristin tells Stacie and Taylor (a.k.a. Sleazy T) she’s done with Brody after he embarrassed her in the bar. We’ll see how long that lasts this time. Minus 4.
Stephanie Pratt serves absolutely zero purpose on the show. Minus 5.
Wow, Brody and Justin-Bobby are actually really good surfers. Plus 4.
Seriously, WTF is Justin-Bobby wearing?! Who rocks a stocking cap and long sleeves in Costa Rica? Minus 8 for lowering the douchebag bar to new depths.
After he invites her out, Kristin and Will dance together in the rain. Which actually does look really fun. We think we need to go to Costa Rica ASAP. Plus 10.
The Kristin-Will thing might seem cool or romantic, but we already know Brody doesn’t care, and she’s dating Hills cameraman Miguel Medina, so Minus 14.
Kristin and Will kiss. Maybe she’s got a future in acting? Plus 5.
J-B asks Audrina if she’ll ever come back to Costa Rica. She says, “Not with you.” OWNED, but Minus 4 anyway, since she’ll always crawl back to this loser.
No Spencer and Heidi? Even on the 100th episode? Minus 16, because as we’ve said before, the show needs Speidi, and didn’t even explain their absence.
Lastly, Plus 8 to push us into positive territory. Why? While a shell of its former self, The Hills still has its moments, and has given us so many memories.
TOTAL: +2. SEASON: -12.
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